Why am I a failure? The simple answer is that you aren’t!
So what is failure?
If you’ve ever bought any ‘shelf help’ books (you know, the self-help books you buy then put on the book shelf and never read) and at least flicked through them or watched a clip on YouTube, you’ll be aware that failure is frequently referred to. The point of all that information is that it’s not about you, it’s about what’s happened; in other words, it’s the event that failed, not you.
Failure appears in so many aspects in our lives. It’s a word that is so overused that we absorb it subconsciously and attach it to ourselves. For example, I’m a failure because I missed the deadline, I cheated on my diet, I didn’t produce the perfect essay, I allowed the children to watch too much TV or sit in front of the computer for too long, I didn’t have the birth experience that I planned, I didn’t manage to breast feed my baby, my relationship failed, I’m not in my ideal job, I missed the bus … you get the picture, it’s all just life stuff that didn’t quite work out as planned but we take on the label of being a failure when in actual fact, it’s just that an element of life didn’t work out AT THAT TIME.
None of this means that you can’t go on and achieve your plans; it just means that it wasn’t quite the right time for you. Some famous examples of ‘failures’, many of whom you’ll have heard before but just to remind you; JK Rowling (was a single parent with very little money and her first Harry Potter book was rejected by over a dozen publishers- I bet they’re regretting their decision now!), Walt Disney (was sacked from a newspaper for not having a good enough imagination), Albert Einstein (expelled from school at the age of 16 for his bad attitude then failed the entrance exam of his chosen college), Abraham Lincoln (before becoming President, he lost a variety of jobs, his Sweetheart died, he lost various nominations and was defeated for Congress and had a nervous breakdown), Bill Gates was a Harvard ‘dropout’, Steven Spielberg got poor grades at school and was rejected 3 times from his chosen university, and so the list goes on.
These people are all considered to be tremendous successes yet they have one thing in common; they didn’t just arrive at success. They each took their own unique and sometimes quite difficult path. Success wasn’t handed to them on a plate.
Come back to your own life. What is it that you feel that you’re failing in? Perhaps it’s time to look at that aspect and think about what it is that’s stopping you achieve your goal for that part of your life.
You are not a failure. You may have hit a stumbling block but it is most definitely something that you can do something about. If people who come from very little with nothing more than a dream can achieve that dream, then you can turn your challenges into your own success story.
Start by writing your ‘I am’ statements. Write a list of 10 I am statements to change your mindset about who you think you are.
I am a good mother
I am a successful author
I am an A grade student etc.
Read your I am statements every day and start making that mindset shift to your success story.
Remember, as Jake Ducey says; failure is an event, not a person.