Building your confidence in easy and manageable ways
Building your confidence can help you in any aspect of your life. Whether it’s in your career, relationships, or just how you feel within yourself, having confidence can help you achieve your goals and overcome the challenges that you encounter at any time of life.
For some people however, building confidence is not always easy, and it may be that you’re struggling with self-doubt and a lack of self-belief. It doesn’t have to be this way and there are some easy ways to build your confidence that when you practice them consistently, will make a difference.
Let’s look at some easy and manageable ways for you to build your confidence and approach your goals with a belief that you can achieve them.
- What have you already achieved?
It’s easy to find yourself worrying about what lies ahead whilst forgetting what you’ve already achieved. When you look back on the challenges that you’ve overcome and how you grew as a person as a result, it can help you to recognise what you’re actually capable of. Think about your successes, no matter how big or small and spend a few moments reminding yourself of how good it felt to overcome that challenge, complete that task or enjoy the feeling of success after all the hard work that you put into something.
2. Enjoy some self-care
Self-care is neither a luxury nor selfish. It’s essential to take time for yourself and really connect to what you need to focus on to keep yourself in a good place. Remember that self-care is different for everyone and it’s important to identify what is the right form of self-care for you right now. It can be focusing on wellbeing such as sleep, eating well, exercise, hydration or simply getting more fresh air. It may be your social wellbeing such as connecting with friends and family, enjoying a night out, joining a group or class or taking up or further growing a hobby. It may be your emotional self-care that needs some attention such as talking to someone you’re close to about what is on your mind or perhaps you just need to take some time for yourself to allow those emotions to shift. Whatever self-care you feel you need, plan to take some time to practice it and feel the benefits.
3. Set small goals
When you break things down to bite-sized manageable tasks or goals, they feel easier to accomplish. Once you start to tick those tasks off your list or achieve those smaller goals, you’ll find it easier to keep going as your self-belief will grow in line with proving to yourself that you can do what you’ve set your mind to do. With the sense of accomplishment of achieving those goals, your confidence in yourself and your abilities will naturally grow too.
4. Beware of negative self-talk
We often resort to harsh words with our own self-talk and these can add to feelings of not being good enough. Harsh words such as ‘should’, ‘must’, ‘need’ etc. can give a sense of unpleasant pressure to do something and if or when they’re not done, can leave feelings of failure. Swap those harsh, pressurised words with softer more inviting words or phrases such as I’d like to, I choose to or I’m planning to. They are much less demanding and come with a sense of encouragement to start and complete the task. If you use phrases such as ‘I’m not good enough’, or ‘I’m bad at that’ or any other negative phrase about yourself, notice and immediately swap it to something more encouraging. A negative or harsh phrase is more likely to zap your confidence. Speak encouragingly to yourself and notice the difference.
5. Notice the company that you keep
When you’re around positive people, you can feel drawn into their positivity. If you spend your time with people who always look on the down side, they’re more likely to bring you down with them. There is an old saying that a rising tide raises all ships. Think about who you spend time with and if you often feel drained from the people around you, look to connect with people who will energise you. Whether it’s to build you up professionally or personally, choose the company you keep wisely.
6. Be kind to yourself.
How would you feel if other people spoke to you in the way you speak to yourself? If the answer is that you would be horrified then it’s time to show yourself some self-compassion and be kind to yourself. Expecting to feel more confident when you’re in receipt of constant criticism will leave you feeling more at odds with where you want to be. If it was a friend you were supporting, how might you do that? How can you develop the things that sooth and comfort you, encourage yourself to take the next step forward and create some boundaries for yourself to keep yourself feeling safe and secure?
7. Take on a challenge
Many of these aspects of building your confidence are elements of self-care and this one is no different. When you set yourself a challenge that pushes you outside your comfort zone, it helps you to grow. Taking on a challenge gives you a sense of pride in your achievement and also teaches you that you can take that step and successfully achieve it. Every time you do something scary, the fear turns into confidence because you know that you’ve done it so if you can do that, you can do other things. Each little challenge allows you to grow your confidence.
When you’re ready to take some steps to grow your confidence, think about it in simple terms. Spending time thinking about what you can do for yourself, managing your wellbeing, setting yourself small challenges and speaking to yourself in an encouraging way will help you to move in the right direction and each accomplishment will reinforce how much you are able to achieve.
If you’d like to find out more about how hypnotherapy can help you to build your confidence, you can take a look here